I think i consider myself a pretty independant person. Although there are a few people in my life that I rally towards and can't imagine my life without. I used to have a large circle of friends and as I get older- I see that circle getting smaller and smaller. More intimate. More intense.
A bit over a year ago, My dear friend Michael emailed me, after a period of silence- to tell me had just been diagnosed with cancer. He began his journey of waiting for the surgery, and waiting to start Chemo, and radiation. I had never been around someone that had more peace with such a life altering challenge. He is one of my Life Heros for the way he clung to the Lord.
I would like to think that I would have the kind of steadfast Faith Michael displayed. He isnt married, he doesnt have any kids- he is alot like me- yet he rarely complained. It's as if Michael knew to lean on God- for he is the only true source of comfort we have in this world.
Michael is not a complainer- but as a long distance best friend- I would have felt more helpful if I could have just listened to his struggles, and pains, and fears a bit more.
Yet, I know that it is not my role to be his Savior. Michael already has one.
I say this all, because I feel that there are more people out there that are hurting and dont have a relationship with God. And there are many of us that do, that know what it is like to be lost, to be hurting, to feel void of hope.
My friend Michael has proved to me in a way im sure he dont even know about- that God is the ultimate healer. And as I await the resolution of a current medical issue of mine- I pray that I keep the earthly example my Brother in Christ, Michael, Has set for me.
And that is to lean on God a bit more, and keep my eyes focused on Him to lead me thru day to day.
I love you equally more, Michael.
Julieloo
Monday, May 5, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Ode to Joy
There are times when the slightest smell or sound can take you back to a place in time where you swear you are drowning in deja-vu. Like the other day I went to the car wash and splurged on the full carpet/floor mat/dash-interior cleaning package. I like to pamper my car. I mean, I figure if I can go get my pedicures, and eyebrow tints- Its the least I can do for my Fancy Sophia- or my Buick Rendevous. Apparently I didnt select from the fragrance list, so they just used the default- NewCarSmell. But somehow- it really didnt smell like new-car smell.. it really was like, Cranberry-Oatclusters with a dash of leather?
If you know me, you know im a smeller. I register people, and places and things, with smells. I have all my life. I would sit at my moms feet as she did dishes, or cooked, and would hold and sniff-explore the bottles of cleaners, candles, and boxes of cereals until she had to pry me off the floor and out of the cabinets.
I would just smell the plastic, the sugars, the lotions, the pine sol- and could amuse myself for hours.
Until one day, The Joy bottle was left corked open, and I squeezed it a bit as I was pulling it out of the cabinet. It caught my eye because my mom was doing the dishes, and she had just put it into the cabinet after filling the dispenser on the counter. Mind you- I was about 3-4 years old, and this is my first memory as a child. But the senses remember so much, even after all these years..
Well, my mom went to answer the phone- and this was when we actually had to answer phones and not know who it was on the other end prior to the Hello, and she sat down and started to gab for what seemed like hours. When in reality it probably was about 10 minutes.
I was amazed at the bubbles that came out of this yellow bottle. Bubbles were a facination to me. Well aren't they for most kids- and even some adults??
Well, I was in a sensory haze of a ton of chemicals that probably will cause some irrevocable disease some day- and after I went on to the next cabinet to pull out the pans to start my music training- I remember reaching for my yellow bottle to drink some juice, and didnt bat an eye when the juice had a thick soapy taste to it. I started to bang on the pans and just as my mom was ending her phone call, My brother Jim started laughing at me, because as I was singing along to my drum ruckus, I was hickuping out a collection of bubbles.
Seemed I had grabbed the wrong yellow bottle and didnt mind that I was now cross-eyed marveling at the bubbles I was creating out of my own mouth. My mom panicked and grabbed me, and started giving me cup fulls of water. Thinking that she would wash out the soap from my mouth. This of coarse made the situation worse.
My brother laughed hysterically, which made me laugh and hiccup the more.
It turns out my brother was watching me the whole time and saw that I didnt get into anything bad, but thought that the Joy would not hurt me. I was his little science experiment.
My mom to this day feels immence guilt about the bubbles and how free she was with my cabinet explorations.
I think that if I had kids- I would would be the paranoid mom with all the drawers and cabinets child locked.
So if you have any Olfactory people in your life- the ones that could spend a chunk of time in the candle isle, or the raincoat isle, or those that actually enjoy putting up new shower curtains just to smell the release of the encased plastic and be the first to capture it in their nostrils...
Just take comfort and knowing they probably will be good to have around if a fire ensues, or
you have some dishes to clean up.
Blessings,
Julieloo
If you know me, you know im a smeller. I register people, and places and things, with smells. I have all my life. I would sit at my moms feet as she did dishes, or cooked, and would hold and sniff-explore the bottles of cleaners, candles, and boxes of cereals until she had to pry me off the floor and out of the cabinets.
I would just smell the plastic, the sugars, the lotions, the pine sol- and could amuse myself for hours.
Until one day, The Joy bottle was left corked open, and I squeezed it a bit as I was pulling it out of the cabinet. It caught my eye because my mom was doing the dishes, and she had just put it into the cabinet after filling the dispenser on the counter. Mind you- I was about 3-4 years old, and this is my first memory as a child. But the senses remember so much, even after all these years..
Well, my mom went to answer the phone- and this was when we actually had to answer phones and not know who it was on the other end prior to the Hello, and she sat down and started to gab for what seemed like hours. When in reality it probably was about 10 minutes.
I was amazed at the bubbles that came out of this yellow bottle. Bubbles were a facination to me. Well aren't they for most kids- and even some adults??
Well, I was in a sensory haze of a ton of chemicals that probably will cause some irrevocable disease some day- and after I went on to the next cabinet to pull out the pans to start my music training- I remember reaching for my yellow bottle to drink some juice, and didnt bat an eye when the juice had a thick soapy taste to it. I started to bang on the pans and just as my mom was ending her phone call, My brother Jim started laughing at me, because as I was singing along to my drum ruckus, I was hickuping out a collection of bubbles.
Seemed I had grabbed the wrong yellow bottle and didnt mind that I was now cross-eyed marveling at the bubbles I was creating out of my own mouth. My mom panicked and grabbed me, and started giving me cup fulls of water. Thinking that she would wash out the soap from my mouth. This of coarse made the situation worse.
My brother laughed hysterically, which made me laugh and hiccup the more.
It turns out my brother was watching me the whole time and saw that I didnt get into anything bad, but thought that the Joy would not hurt me. I was his little science experiment.
My mom to this day feels immence guilt about the bubbles and how free she was with my cabinet explorations.
I think that if I had kids- I would would be the paranoid mom with all the drawers and cabinets child locked.
So if you have any Olfactory people in your life- the ones that could spend a chunk of time in the candle isle, or the raincoat isle, or those that actually enjoy putting up new shower curtains just to smell the release of the encased plastic and be the first to capture it in their nostrils...
Just take comfort and knowing they probably will be good to have around if a fire ensues, or
you have some dishes to clean up.
Blessings,
Julieloo
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